I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
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I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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