I bet he comes in French.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
