it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
