didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize