as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
