3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
