Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
