i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
