This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
