Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
