Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
