Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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