Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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