so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
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