Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So vagazzling was a success
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
