matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
