I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Terrible idea I love it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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