i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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