I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize