weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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