I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
