we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
