bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
