she was so not down for the gang bang
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
