can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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