Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
