how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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