I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
