ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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