Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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