Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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