I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
