You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
