Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
