Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
