Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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