I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
