he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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