We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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