Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
