If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
