bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
