You're my little dorito
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
