The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
