yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
