well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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