420 ftw
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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