thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize