Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
