hotel room ftw
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
