That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize