i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize