so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
