Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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