I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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