small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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