if only i could text you this smell
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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