I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
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But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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