I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
