He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
