I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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