drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
