Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
