I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
