So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
