Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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