we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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