I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
