and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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