Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm always down for nudity.
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