Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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