Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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