i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You did what with his pubic hair?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
