So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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