the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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