I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
