so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
